Disclaimer: this is my blog and I can say anything I want to. The followings are just my rants and thoughts and feelings. If you think you're gonna get annoyed reading it or will end up quarrelling with me, please STOP READING NOW. If not, just read to the end and try to digest. DO NOT comment, say or tag anything IF you're not the one I'm refering to at all. If you're already tired from the day, just STOP reading..... I am not starting a quarrel. I DO NOT want to quarrel. There's no where nor anyone else that I can pour my heart out to right at the moment.

thought when you call you'd be home and i can talk to you. a sudden joy for nothing. all of a sudden i got nothing to talk to you bout now. i'm just so ............ so so so i dont even know what. stupid dar dar.... you know how much i miss you also?? its gonna be the whole damn week gone soon and i didn't get to see you at all. most to most also call to wake you up or say good night.

right in a bottomless pit like that now. why like that... you know how much i miss you too?? but as your future spouse i'm suppose to be more understanding and supportive too in this situation. yes? i'm asking seriously. not being sarcastic or what.

SO UPSET. dont even want to talk to you at all. dont even want to see you already dont even want to see your sms or hear you at all. dont even want to give you morning call make you late for the dammit exam!!! SHIT eVRYTHING LA.

ARGH! .........

That is the first feeling and thoughts that is going through my mind. i sacrifice my emotions and wants and misses and did not complain did not whine bout how bad this week was for me all just for you to study. i didn't keep wanting of your attention. but end up you just go out dinner and movie with friends after the first paper that you said you failed.

WHY them but not me? This is the questions jumping out at me right now. satan's trying to make us quarrel isn't it... he sucks big time...

to me at least i tried my very best to refrian from saying i miss you i want to see you i want you to send me home etc etc in order for you to concentrate on your studies. i tell myself its all worth it to not meeting you to minimize letting you know how bad my week was. but right now. i do feel neglected... can i say i miss you without distracting or annoying you??

at the end of all these typing. I'm thinking that I've just spoilt your mood and for your exam too. and on the other hand hoping it won't affect your performance in your exam for tmr. i'm contradicting myself... what te heck... since i know all 'these things' that i say might affect you some how, some way.... why did i still say them. why did i still feel this way. now i regret what i've just said and felt. argh??!

I'll still give you morning call. I still want to get your sms or call after all these. I still wanna see you afterall... I really can't stay angry or upset with you for long it seems...

or actually. there's nothing to be upset bout. cos its normal to go out with friends when being jio-ed to. anywayz I did tell you to relax and enjoy yourself what.

so bottom line is - there's nothing to be upset bout. there's nothing to feel neglected bout. its all satan's ploy of getting us to quarrel to be unharmonized. its not your fault. its neither mine. its his damn fault.

sorry baby for feeling so d4f56oe5jw4inb4 with you just now. i'm not holding a grudge or anything against you ok... i was just having lots of pent up mixed emotions just now... sorry.
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