i'm sick again.... very bad sore throat and common flu... =( i think i'm a workaholic???? i feel weird when i dont work... i'm suppose to be at work... but i'm sick again... so sian... rotting at home nothing much to do except for eat sleep eat sleep... so boring. rather be at work now... i'm on mc tomorrow also... arh!! this is so bad... =( sigh... dont know got enough teachers in school to take classes or not... sigh. what a time to fall sick... hope the rest can cope...

basically that's all.... nothing much to update bout... oh yah. pepper lunch is really yummy!! haha. its my all time favourite now! hee~
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its raining!! raining a lot nowadays. wow... rainy seasons are starting to come?? but isn't it quite early for it. anywayz... night time are more cooling to sleep in now. yeah!! love rainy days. but sometimes it can quite dampen people's mood eh. but its still soooo cool!! hahha. make me hardly wanna get out of bed.

lots of work and preparation to do again since tomorrow will be the last day of week5 in term3. i find it challenging, fun, enriching to be doing new things and teaching new things. =D really happy and thankful for god to provide me with this place to work at. really find that i'm learning lots of news things always. everytime got a different problem.

there's a very difficult child to handle in my class but thank god... finally there's a way to get him to calm down and stop being a spoilt tyrant. you really gotta rack your brain and use the power of observation and early childhood milestones developments to the max to develop a specific technic to handle each individual child. adding on you gotta understand and know the child's background in order to coordinate with the child's family thus benefiting the child. wah.... really learning a lot everyday.... blah blah blah blah. lots of different cases. cant name all of them. but i think this is what i'm meant to do ba. i seriously cant think of anything else to do besides being in this line. just that the pay is very low leh.... teachers gotta be super human beings de lor...
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been thinking.... is the initiator so available as and when thus being/becoming taken forgranted for? the initiator is always here and there and all around bugging the person.... maybe going through another extreme mood swing and is really not using the brain to think properly thus causing so much commotion?? ....... letting imagination run wild? thinking too much? worrying for nuts? why should the initiator initiate so much since the person doesn't? sigh.... what is the initiator thinking bout....

once again... i do not mean that anyone is right or wrong.
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initiative.

initiative.... a whole lot of difference it makes. we say that we love a person, but does our action show it? it isn't easy to say love and even harder to show it... always being the one to initiate is very taxing and tiring at times. but if the initiator stops initiating, everything will come to a standstill, to an end. isn't it? no one initiaties anymore then.... that is what the initiator is very scared and terrified of.... paranoid? overly worried? nonsensical thinking?

does the initiator makes a difference to anyone? can the person do without the initiator? the person is a self proclaimed bastard and asshole who can't change. should the initiator just leave the person to just be? since it does hurts quite a lot at times. that is the step that the initiator refuse to, do not want to, cannot bare to initiate. its not an option it seems as the world will spin and break into pieces should that happen. that is how the initiator feels......

the initiator cannot do without the person. the person seems to be able to do without the initiator. nothing can be changed. so... meaning from the start to the end everything is the same because nothing can be changed. so it is the same, be the initiator there or not to the person. logically speaking? or is the initiator not using the brain again?

being initiative to the opposite party shows that the initiator cares, values, will worry, is not taking forgranted the person and that the person is of significance. the person does not/cannot/do not know how to initiate.

but on the other hand. the initiator initiates too much and it becomes redundent. standard procedures.... no point? no meaning then? not sincere? does the initiator require too much? does the initiator ask for too much with little understanding of the person? maybe... ? yes... too much.... else the person will not get so pissed, more tired and stressed. the initiator is the one who is too dictative. can say initiates the wrong things almost always ba... really not using the brain. (not being sarcastic)

how do people maintain relationships? it is so difficult. will there be the days that people really do grow old together? xian ku hou tian?

i am thinking whether i should be posting this or not. i really really do not mean offence to anyone. i do not want to start a quarrel. i do not mean that i am right and you are wrong. i do not. i did not mean that. no rights, no wrongs, no offences, no quarrels....

anyway dajie's return date extended to next week. not 19july. take care...
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i dont know. i just find my mom more and more irritating and getting on my nerves. why cant she be like the other moms just so easy going and friendly..... arh whatever. if she were like other moms then she wouldn't be my mom already right??? the heck. sigh.... patience. patience. patience. my patience is going under.... sigh... god help mi. please... i shan't elaborate and say what happened cos there's too many. dont tell mi she's reaching her lao ren gen nian qi???

SIGH

anywayz.... another thing. don know good or bad.. ?? da jie will be back in s'pore on 19july. which is this friday....


patience patience patience and love
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once again. haven't been blogging for a while. no one chasing mi to update my blog anywayz. so... yup. past weeks been hectic and busy. sudden boom of intake of children for my class... wow?? real trying and mentally, physically challenging surrounded by so many crying kids. but at the end of the day its like... mixed emotions? relieved that "it's over"? glad that the kid is trying to adapt? glad that there's more kids?? ha. yah... early childhood educators have to play so many roles in their field of work. like gotta be jack of all trades AND master of all. find that i'm learning new things everyday and i grow knowledge and experience wise too. yah. so basically that's all ba....

26th july saturday Kinderland Family & Sports Day.
is it more interesting, not boring and fun to be at the sports day or to stay in school to do work?? hmmmm...
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