i'm back in singapore!! hahaha. went to hk for 6days. during those 6 days, i have never ever in my life climbed so many staircases and walked so many slopes to get to one destination within a university!! HA! serious!
and the weather there is like s'pore just that its even hotter! bathe in cold water, but when i come out, wanna melt already.. the heat is power la! hahaha. oh yah! and i just love the desserts there. super yummy! the dim sum, the 'niu nang mian' and all the stuff there.. i just fell in love with that place especially at the top of ma an shan where all of us ppl spent the night there. just love the night scene!! so enjoyable though tiring. =))
oh yah!! and of all. how could i forget!! the Yuan Lang Heng Xiang lao po bing! simply delicious!! i love eating! thank god for letting have a very functional mouth, healthy teeth and digestive system!!
hahahah!
took cathay flight. watched underworld. had hagean daz strawberry ice cream. good start! =)) reached c.u.h.k, rested for bout 4hrs. dinner at 6. off to ma an shan. supposedly to climb mountain for an estimated 45min but it was much longer!! 1hr plus. so tired! so muddy! so sweaty! bag so heavy! and i'm itching as usual... kept complaining in my heart to god. it totally sucked cos i almost fainted. but grp leader called for rest just at that moment i was to faint. so i had a rest just in time. thank god!! really! =)
frm there on think back to the isrealites being led out of egypt.. i was like them.. god's providing and keeping journey safe but i'm here still complaining.. i should thank god i nv roll down the mountain or fall into the rushing river! yah.. experienced alot on the mountain.
i'm so burnt out but i cant sleep within the tall itchy irritating grass with the insects crawling bout making noise and it rained all of a sudden drenching me wet! my legs stink and i'm freezing!! and i keep sliding down among the grass due to the rain which decreased friction! oh it sucks! was so pissed. super pissed! regretting and complaining with a very very very bitter heart hoping tht the ppl who organise this camp wont come to a good ending!!
it was at tht moment i accidentally glance up at the sky... everything basically froze. too bad i did not have a camera with me then.. its was totally awesome. you can see the uncountable stars shining high up in the sky. nothing is obstructing your view of them unlike in s'pore with the street lights. thn suddenly the clouds came and covered everything. the whole mountain was in fog. or was it mist?? yah.. anywayz.
remembered this by a speaker then. "what we cannot see does not mean that its not there." at tht moment i really fully understood what the speaker had meant. god's creation is still here, just that some things are blocking our view of it - blinding us. god himself is always here with us, just that we're blinded by the worldly things or our own desires.
really learn how to turn to god especially when i'm physically tired and spiritually down.
and i miss my Group 2 alot!!
Selina. my dear encouraging and pretty grp leader! so caring so motherly!
Ah Him. my dear fun-loving, god-loving dai kor! saying i pang(fat)/bang(good/great). hahah!!
Annie. my dear friend with the sweetest smile! no matter how tired, the smile's there!
Kevin. my dear caring, strong built friend. so funny. quite lame! "father figure". haha =P one of my translator before mei mei came.
Mei Mei. a sec sch. teacher in training for the 1st yr. my dear translator! without you i'll be lost!! really!
Tai Yao. the oh so dear so caring so loving friend. i can share anything with you! protect me from dog on mountain. hehhe =))
YoYo. my dearest bestest friend in hk! =)) oh yeah! starting from food!! haha. a primary sch. teacher in training for the 3rd yr. =))
GOD BLESS ALL OF THEM!! and the organisers too!! =))
time now is 18:01. time to bathe and have dinner le. maybe will publish some pics. later on. =))
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1. walking around
2. greeting the teachers
3. talking to friends
4. sleeping
5. smuggling food to classroom to eat
6. playing in the toilet
7. rehearsing for cca stuff
8. running around school
9. packing things to go home
10. of course studying la..
Five of your favourite singers / bands?
1. S.H.E
2. Jay
3. JJ Lin
4. Rainie
5. and lin chunhui eunice
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire?
1. seafood meal!!!
2. get a stylo bungalow for family to live in
3. do god's work
4. travel around
5. buy ice cream for ppl and myself. =))
Five things you like doing?
1. eating
2. sleeping
3. using my laptop & hp
4. shopping
5. reading
things you would never buy, wear or get?
i'll never buy a gigalo.
things i'll never wear are stockings and flowery bra...
clothes that are very nice but too ex to get..
Five favourites?
1. err... watching vcd??
2. ehh.. library
3. hotels..
4. nature
5. i like being hugged.. ??
Five people to do this?
1. chunAi
2. xining
3. chewling
4. siti
5. huimin
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Advanced Global Personality Test Results
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personality tests by similarminds.com
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find that this song applies aptly to me.. ha. =)
http://www.learn-chinese-through-music.com/jay-chou-an-jing.html
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our human problem:
life isn't fair. sometimes the wicjed prosper and the good are cut down. some sick people get healed and others are not. suffering puzzles us doesn't it. we always ask "why did this happen to me?". we'll ask.. "if god is just and good, why do we sometimes suffer so much? surely it's not always because of our sin."
conclusion:
mystery often accompanies our suffering. natural disasters, disease, the action of others cause us great pain. in the face of unexplained suffering, the disciple trusts god. god does not always give us answers; he promises to be with us (psalm 23).
through suffering, there are 2 outcomes. one is that you turn away from god. two, is that you turn to god. it's been the downturn of my life at this moment as someone's action cause me to grieve deeply every day, i lose sleep over it.. i still need to put up a strong front so as not to let the people who care bout me worry.. its so tiring. so so very tiring.. of course i keep asking why. i find that i'm good enough already. i ask god what more does he want from me. why did god allow this heart wrenching thing to happen to me.. it hurts so much. so much i just cry..
but in the end.. i still trust in god that he will keep to his promises of being with me guiding me providing for me protecting me through it all. my god is a faithful god. as i said before, he is the only one who knows each and every single one of us bestest than any others. he knows that whatever i/we face, we'll be able to take it. his promise with us will never change. never!
i always forget too. that my faithful god is the one who has the highest most wisdom stretched his measuring line across the sky, it was him who built the heaven and earth, it was him who set timing to everything. he's the alpha, he's the omega.
i don't need to be asking why this happen to me why that.. he's the god of all. he gives blessings, he can give suffering too.
"i do not need to justify anything to you, because i am god."
am i able to put down my own pride and come humbly before god admitting that he's the creator of all. that i'm willing to submit to him because he is forever in control. he cares for us. i forget that its all in his hands and i do get carried away by pride.. maybe god's trying to teach me somthings. there's always a reason. just that we dont see it..
god's ways are higher than us man. his understanding is not of ours. but he understands us best still. in times of suffering, humble myself, accept. turn to god.
so o lord god. please help me...
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emotions are high
i knew i had to go on
but am i up to it
am i able to put it aside
things ain't easy as said
insomnia my friend
is here to visit again
when will you be gone
my mind is blank
my heart is aching
aching from the cold
silent gaze
you're happy at least
that's the main thing
i don't need a heater
i...
....
i .... don't know what to say
at this moment now
let me just live it alone
all alone..
dont wanna plan
dont wanna think
dont wanna bother
dont wanna feel...
fish it..
i dont want to hurt you.
am i findng an excuse??
but actually whatever it is
ppl will still get hurt at this moment
brought away by a dream..
but the story ends abruptly..
xin ye xi huan yi ge ren ji mo...
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disappearing into the crowd
at that moment she was clear
between them the story has ended
another story then began
one more than a friend
but one less than a lover
what's their status she dont know
he comforts her
he encourages her
bringing back the missing
her laughter and her smile
how then
can she bear to hurt him
taking away the happiness
everything that he has
heart break is just the thing
she dont wanna experience again
for him her statusless friend
all the more not that
trust in herself that's what's lacking
once bitten twice shy
that's all she can say for now
she's not worth waiting for
a barrier built up
a fortress standing tall
she learns from the attack
building herself up even more
she's sorry
that's all she can say
she's wounded but healing
she wants another story
but not now... ??
she's so selfish
she wants him to wait
but she can't put her guard down
what is she suppose to do
o lord god of all
guide her journey
as you guided king david
as you guided your chosen people
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i went to my primary school friend's blog today... read a story.. its very real to me.. so heart felt.. yeh.. she's able to express what i couldn't.. go take a look. =)
http://cintwonderland.blogspot.com/
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reminding me of you once again
the embrace you kept me in
so firm and secure
the way you look at me
so melting is my heart
the road that we took before
i'm walking it once again
the journey that we had
now there's only me
wave of emotions rushing through
reminding me of you once again
the fortress of my city
falling once again
o lord help me
build my fortress strong
that i may withstand any attacks
forever you are my banner
o faithful god
you bring me through
the abyss of despair
and you're here with me
let me praise you always
let me sing of the joy you gave
may the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you o my god
you're my rock and my redeemer
help me seek you forever more
every hour every moment
i desire to be a blessing in your eyes
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