sigh..

cant sleep. maybe i should be changing my blog skin. can i not be there when people need me.. can i be just invisible. i used to be just that but i came out from my own world when i started serving. its so difficult.. can i just run away from it all..

reality is so cruel.. so so very cruel.. and humans just have to make it worse.

oh lord god. i know you want me to go through all these so that i may help others along the way when they encounter too. but ain't it all too soon.. i know you are merciful, gracious and loving, forgiving too.. sometimes i find that i can't take it any more.. i dont think i am being a good witness to others.. oh god.. help me!! i'm so troubled.. so vexed!! why do people do the things they do. how come god.. you let me see all these.. yet! i dont know how to help... i dont know what to do now.... i only run away.. run away. but where can i run to.. i cry every sunday..

no one seems to bother to care more bout me.. to understand.. i dont even know myself sometimes... sometimes... i build a tower around myself.... if only i can stay in it forever. but it is not to be. i must come out. oh lord.. pull this city in me down... i'm so drained... dont feel like caring.. but i cant.

give me patience to await you lord.
give me strength to run the race you plan for me.
give me love to love others.
give me widsom to know how to do your works.
give me a listening ear to hear you.
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